CalamitAs
by A Glimpse of Ethereal Blue
Summary: Special Episode taking place in the Dreamcatcher Universe. Sephiroth and Sora engage in an important conversation about Jenova. What does the General think about it and is he willing to share his thoughts with her? Read to find out...[CoverArt:AndreiaFerreira]
1. Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

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><p><em><strong>This little episode sets somewhere in the plot of Dreamcatcher – if you didn't read it, it's hard to understand the logic of the events.<strong>_

_**It was written specifically to Snowfleet, one of the readers that participated in the Dreamcatcher First-Kiss challenge. This special episode was the Prize. The winner gave me permission to post the episode here.**_

_**I can only hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did, writing it.**_

_**Snowfleet asked me to write something solid about Jenova. The matter is not heavily discussed throughout the plot (Dreamcatcher) so, I did what I could to explore the issue decently, including interaction between characters and create a credible discussion about such delicate entity.**_

_**So, I invite you in.**_

_**Have fun***_


	2. CalamitAs

_**Calamita****s**_

_**Dreamcatcher Fanfiction Special Episode**_

_**Written for Snowfleet (DeviantArt User) as a reward for participating in the "First-kiss" Dreamcatcher Challenge**_

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><p><em><strong>Calamity [<strong>__**from Latin **__**calamita**__**s**__**]: **__An event that brings __terrible loss, lasting distress, or severe affliction__**.**_

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><p>Thunder sounded, for the tenth time this evening.<p>

Thank God, I wasn't alone – which was very odd. It was six p.m. and the General was already at home. Strangely, he had arrived earlier and I wondered, surprised, if he wasn't feeling well or something. As usual, I remained silent, but I found his lingering presence, in such early hours very, very disturbing.

Not an hour after his arrival, heavy rain started pouring. More like the sea had been moved from its previous location and sprayed hardly on us. I had never seen raining like this, with such power, with such energy. The sound it made hitting the roof scared the hell out of me, but I didn't flinch. I didn't say anything, but my complexion must have given notice the stress I felt.

He walked around, in and out of the basement, while I resumed myself to the kitchen, surrounded by a strange silence – as usual. Deep down inside I wondered if he had any forecast apparatus in that place he seemed to go everyday or, if… by any miracle of life, he was capable of guessing what on Earth was coming this afternoon.

Well, he didn't seem bothered at all with my unease. In fact, he seemed to be totally at ease with those terrible sounds outside: thunder, wind and furious water demanding entrance in the house. Maybe he was used to it, maybe he enjoyed it. I didn't know. He didn't talk to me enough to share such futilities with me.

Meddling with chopping meat, I felt all around me go black.

_Oh crap_.

The lights were out.

Completely out. Darkness surrounded me. I felt my eyes open excessively, automatically, as a reaction. I didn't move, I remained there for some seconds, and then I considered… calling him. I wondered where he would be. Inside, outside, or still concealed in the basement?

"Sephiroth…" I kind of tried to whisper his name, as I turned my head slightly to my right side, trying to find any source of natural light from the outside. Namely, the moon light, which was really scarce, but… well, it would better than nothing.

I wasn't lucky. The thick clouds heavy with water didn't let any form of natural light to bathe us.

"Don't move."

His voice made me shiver. It was not his tone… okay, it was partially his tone, half-whispered words, too close to me. Too close to my ears, too close to my sensitive scalp, too close to my body. He was exactly behind me, making occasional contact with my form, contributing to my residual shivering.

Okay, maybe he would think I felt cold, or that I was afraid of the dark… but to be honest, I was terribly fond of his touch… even if that innocent contact didn't have anything concealed but… concern.

His voice was heard once more, echoing in the dark surrounding us.

"We won't have power for some time now."

_Oh, for Heaven's sake_.

"For how much time?" I asked, worried. I felt like a blind person without guidance whatsoever.

"The generator is capacitated to keep most devices working, but the lights are expendable." He informed.

Wow. Great. The lights were expendable, under his perspective.

"I can't see anything." I declared, facing hollowness. Well, "anything" was an understatement. To be accurate, I should have said I couldn't see "_shit_".

"Your hands." He said, suddenly, more like… questioning me. What was on his mind?

"They're here," I started. "next to the dish-washer. Why?"

"Stay still." He whispered.

Oh, man. That sexy tone again, teasing my senses. This man was going to make me lose my composure someday, I could sense it.

Then, he moved. More specifically, his hands moved. His slender, masculine fingers traced the contours of my arms, forearms, until he reached my hands…my fingers. The warmth he irradiated made me shudder with anticipation. His deliberate sluggishness was almost painful.

What on Earth was he thinking? Touching me this way, in the dark, telling me to stay still? What, did he get some fun out of teasing me?

Most likely, he did. But his unbelievable mask of neutrality didn't allow him to feel a bit embarrassed or maybe, who know, to blush a bit? I could use a little bit of that. See _him_ blush, for a change…

His hands held mine and his mouth found my right ear, startling me.

"Let me guide you."

How could I say anything against it, or even ask for details, justifications? No, I couldn't. I was too busy trying to keep my breathing rate regular.

He did guide me all right. His form practically glued to mine, the back of my head, as well as my back and my legs (and bottom) touching his body - his chest, his legs, all of him. It was sexy, walking like a Siamese twin with him, my hands on his, facing darkness in the middle of nothing, thunder echoing intermittently, alerting us, remembering me and him of the storm outside, that seemed to continue forever. At least, this night would. I was willing to bet it would.

We left the kitchen towards the hall (or so I thought) and then to a room, to the left side. I had a hunch it was his bedroom. It smelled of him. It was huge.

It had to be _his_ bedroom.

"Don't move for a moment, please." He said, his hands leaving mine, his body ceasing contact with mine. I felt somehow frustrated, but I knew it had to happen, eventually. He couldn't stay that close to me indefinitely. It wasn't like him to do that, anyway… and we weren't exactly… _nothing_ in concrete to maintain such contact.

Oh, I didn't know. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what to conclude of our sporadic adventuring into… tenderness.

In the middle of my stressing thoughts, there was a dash sound, followed by dim light, bathing that space that I recognized immediately as his bedroom. I was right after all. There was a flame, fragile and unique, glowing right there on his chest of drawers. It was amazing, how that diffuse light, entangled with shadow, seemed to fit him more than anything. Strangely, it was like shadow was meant for him.

"Candle light. Nice." I said, relief imbibing my speech. It was nice, really. And romantic as hell, my mind added.

He moved swiftly without even bothering I was there, and I started wondering what was my part in all this, after all. He had brought me to his bedroom. Right. Now what?

However, he seemed to read the uncertainty in my complexion.

"Make yourself comfortable."

I arched my eyebrows in response.

Make myself comfortable? Comfortable, like… what?

Not knowing how to react and what I should do, I was headed to the bed and I sat. First, I felt tense. Then, as I saw him wander around as if he was making sure all doors and windows were actually closed. Now it was my time to wonder what was he doing, specifically, because I couldn't figure out his purpose. Again, my face must have reflected my unawareness.

"I'm just confirming everything's closed. Lightning will come, eventually."

"Oh." I gulped. "But we're safe… right?"

"We are safe. I prepared this house specifically for the northern weather conditions."

"That makes me feel so much better." I said, genuinely relieved, while I let myself rest my back against the headboard of his bead.

Sighing and adjusting my eyes to the dim environment, I decided to take my shoes off and rest completely my legs on the bed, as I removed the bedcover aside.

"I've never seen anything like this…" I said, genuinely worried. And it was true, I wasn't particularly fearful of bad weather… but storms of this magnitude did scare me.

"It's typical in here." He said, approaching the opposite side of the bed and taking his coat off.

"By "here", you mean…"

"The north. I… know this area of the planet better than I would like to." His voice was calm, but it hid something behind. I couldn't grasp what it was.

"You've been here before?" I asked, not knowing if he would answer me. Sneaking into his private, past life was not very safe. For me, at least.

His eyes answered me instead of his mouth. The green of his eyes were almost shining, like metal piercing the feeble brown of my own eyes. I had crossed the line, my mind chastised. Again, like so many times, I had ached for something more from him, a little piece of his life to which I didn't have access, ever.

"Sorry…" I whispered, focusing my stare now in my own hands, entangled strangely on my lap.

I felt him sit next to me, mimicking my former actions: taking his boots off, sitting on the bed with his back resting against the headboard. Only fast and furious rain was heard. It felt completely absorbing, mind-numbing.

"I'm not used to be questioned about my past."

His tone was sharp, cold, authoritarian. Very much himself, indeed.

"I figured." I said, maybe too fast for my own benefit.

"It's not that I-"

"It's okay." I said, cutting his word. "It's none of my business."

My abruptness didn't help at all to improve the chances of an eventual – normal – dialogue between us. But, come on, he was difficult and I had my way of dealing with his sharpness as well. I put up with too much already, ignoring most of his indifference. And only God knew how it hurt me. Well, God and myself.

A sequence of thunder, loud and deafening was heard, giving me the sensation the sky was going to collapse above us, crashing us at any minute. I half-jumped in the bed, and covered my ears with my hands, closing my eyes in the process, wishing for it to end soon. Even the fragile, scarce light that bathed the bedroom seemed to shiver, giving the impression that it would fade at any minute.

It was creepy, honestly.

I would continue with my eyes closed, but the feeling of an arm and a hand circling me, my back, reaching my right arm, made me open my eyes at once. My hands traveled from my ears to my mouth, half-closing during the movement. Now, what would follow?

What I wanted to follow certainly wouldn't match with the perspectives of what would eventually follow. Or so I guessed.

Well, for once, I was wrong. He exerted a little pressure in his direction and I couldn't help but to let myself follow his lead. My body found his own, his fine, smooth clothing, his tantalizing smell, his fine skin, his strange contact, now so extraordinarily gentle. We remained half-sit, and I let my knees to retract a bit, resting softly next to his legs.

I did take some time to concrete something coherent to say.

"You're not afraid of anything..." I said, my voice low, my face facing his upper chest, next to his neck.

"I just don't exteriorize emotions the same way you do. That doesn't mean I'm immune to everything."

Hum. So he had his fears. He had his weaknesses. He was just damn good hiding those.

"I've never seen a storm like this." I declared. "It looks like the roof is going to collapse."

A muffled, resonant sample of laugh exited his chest.

"It won't, I assure you."

I was a nice sound. Very nice indeed. It made him warmer, so less creepy than before.

"Do you like it here? The North?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"Why?"

His tone emanated caution. Definitely, he wasn't used to dialogue much.

"Just curious… you do seem pretty at ease here." I justified myself the best I could. And then I added, "It looks like you know this place already."

"Most part of it, yes." He said, with a neutral voice. "I spent moments of my life here."

Well, that was a nice revelation. He had been here before, in this area. His tone gave up a pleasant hint though.

"Nice ones?"

I was risking, I knew it.

"Relaxing ones, yes." He corrected. "At least it wasn't Midgar."

"So this is like a refuge to you." I concluded, now with my eyes more adjusted to the dim light that surrounded us.

"Yes." He admitted.

I was enjoying talking to him – maybe too much. I knew this wasn't his usual self – he wasn't fond of dialoguing _this_ much. And I somehow was aware that had been the actual meteorological circumstances the ones responsible for our… innocent cuddling.

"May I ask you something?" I said, not knowing if he would answer to me or not.

"You're asking me things for a while now."

Okay so his tone was friendly. It was time for me to "attack" him with questions. Serious questions, nonetheless.

"Do you still think of happened in Neibelheim?"

His body revealed some immediate tension, after those words exited my mouth. He was silent for a second, and then he answered me.

"Every day."

"Do you think you could have done something to-"

"I can't change it. That is hard enough." He suddenly cut me. "At the moment, I didn't regret anything. But now, that I recall the lives I harvested… I just wonder… what was the purpose after all?"

Yeah, it was a good question, but we both knew there was something bigger behind it. Well, _bigger_ certainly was an understatement.

"Your _mothe_r…" I said, knowing he would be thinking exactly in that _word_ too. He would be thinking in that word…and in that presence, that terrible influence I had experimented once as well.

"_Her_ voice echoed my head, my senses. It was like _she_ was inside me, compelling me… I felt like a child whose obligation was to obey, no matter what."

Hearing him talking like this made me shiver.

"_Jenova_ is part of me. I sense _her_ within me constantly. It has been like this since I was a child."

"You _feel_ her?" I said, somehow scared that he would sense _her_ constantly, even in here, in this forsaken, protected place. He had told me _she_ didn't talk to him since he had awoken.

"I feel _her,_ but it's not exactly a presence. It's a consequence of having _her_ cells within me. The influence of _her_ alien cells… made me what I am today."

Everything he was telling me made me want to ask some more things.

"But you did have parents…?"

"Human parents, yes. My… biological mother was the vehicle to my father's…" "…greediness."

The harshness he applied when he said that last word really made me wonder how creepy and cruel would his father have been. Quickly, I concluded I did not want to find that out. Feeble words came out as a whisper.

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. Life isn't fair."

I knew that. We both knew that. Although living different realities, we both had suffered a different kind of hell.

"Don't blame yourself." I said, guessing what he eventually felt now.

"I should have been stronger. I shouldn't have… cracked under the pressure and the revolt, when I found out what I was."

I didn't answer him. I let him continue.

"You should have seen them. The Soldiers 1st class, that were with me that day. Their faith, their obedience to me decreased proportionally as I spoke those words that condemned me."

In silence I remained and I could only afford to imagine, how crazed he must have looked, how lunatic he must have sounded.

"And _her_ voice… teasing me, alluring me with promises of ethereal places, only available to those belonging to the heritage of Gods. All lies. All of it… manipulating my sanity." His tone was almost agonizing.

"You couldn't have done anything to prevent it. You know that." I said, knowing very well he was right about _her_ voice and _her_ manipulating speech.

"I … I didn't try to stop myself." He admitted, sounding ashamed. I presumed, hadn't I been hidden between his neck and his chest, he would have concealed his face. I didn't make any intention of looking at his face – I assumed he felt more comfortable this way, just tossing words somewhere over my head.

"Just let it go. It's over now. You're free. _She_ never… bothered you again. _Sh_e finally freed you." I dared to say that, although I wasn't completely sure of it. Mainly, I wanted to believe so, very very badly.

"I don't know, Sora." He whispered. "Why did _she_ come up to you? Why didn't _she_ let me die? I was supposed to have died that day and instead, I am here. With you. The one that found me."

Oh, I knew where this conversation would lead eventually. _Goals and Intentions_.

"Do you think _she_ had a purpose?" I asked him.

"I'm… not sure. The only thing I know is… when _she_ wants something very badly… _she_ gets it." He declared, his voice solemn. "And_ she_ will do everything to get it. Whatever it is."

Yep. I was very familiar with that purpose of _her_ all right. Discussing the points of a higher entity wasn't easy. It was like discussing God's way of thinking.

"_She_ wanted me to save you. _She_ was very specific about it. _She_ wouldn't let me get out of that place without you." I stated, remembering too well the details of that moment and how frightened I felt.

"You were brave. Taking me in, in your own house, without even knowing me."

Yes, I had been – unwisely brave. He could have easily killed me back then.

"_She_ told me… we were each other salvation, I…" It was difficult not to stagger when I was saying such things. "I didn't know exactly what _she_ meant… I still don't know."

I wasn't being completely true. Although I didn't know Jenova's purpose about that particular sentence, I did know one thing for sure: I was falling for him. Completely and utterly. And I couldn't simply admit or say that "salvation" meant something close to I'm-falling-in-love-with-the-general-that-slaughtered-thousands. All I knew was how I felt, how those feelings grew over time and how I wished he cared for me as well.

"You don't?"

_Oh-uh_. I wasn't expecting that one from him.

"No." I could only hope I could lie with a little more conviction than before. "Do you know?"

He wasn't expecting my sudden question. It had been a sweet move, nonetheless. Now he had the ball on his court.

"Not… exactly."

"Do you… suspect anything?"

Yeah, nice tactic - asking him what he thought about it.

"I have my theories." He answered, excessively impartial. Oh, I know what that meant. It was a very subtle way of telling me to stop asking so many questions.

"I would ask to share them with me but I guess you won't want to."

I know, I was being childish.

"Sometimes you can be very irritating." He said, exhaling loudly at the same time. His arms grasped me a little tighter. What did _that _mean?

"Me? What-"

"I'd rather not share them with you because you would worry excessively over them."

Oh. So I was the reason he was being so anti-social with me? I couldn't find a decent answer to that one. Before I knew it, he was speaking again.

"And you're tense enough when I'm around you."

I felt my eyes open excessively. He knew me too well – and that wasn't a good thing. The fact that he knew I was tense around him meant that he knew of some other things I eventually felt when he was around me. It was embarrassing, to say the least. All I could try to do was… somehow… amend the situation, even if he wouldn't believe me.

"That's not… completely… true."

Oh, but it was. We both knew it was _very_ true.

"Why don't you tell me your theory?" He suddenly suggested, as one of his hands unexpectedly touched by lower back.

_Not good to my coherence. Not good at all_.

"On what?" I managed to say, remaining quiet but terribly aware of his hands.

"On my mother… Jenova's actions."

Oh, that.

"I told you everything I knew. I told you what she said to me that night."

"You're avoiding my question."

"No, that's not… that, I…"

I was terrible at faking. I knew he wanted me to tell him my own interpretation of _her_ actions that night. But I didn't know if I was prepared to share it with him… nor if he would be prepared to listen what I had to say. Feeling trapped, I had no other option but to blurt it out anyway. I considered seriously what I would say, for some moments before courage invade me.

"Maybe… She just wanted to have you safe. Maybe she just wanted you to be with someone that wouldn't give you in, someone that didn't have a clue of what you had done and… could… give you a chance to… start over, I guess." Wow, that was talking. "As a regular human man." I added, feeling unstoppable. "You did save me, after all. Several times. And you brought me here, when you had absolutely no obligation of doing so."

So. I guess it was it. I never thought I would have the guts to tell him what went through my mind.

"If that could be true…I could really, actually, forgive_ her_ for what she had me doing."

His tone revealed sadness, revolt and anger. He was being so true to me that I felt almost honored to be here, sitting by his side, leaning against him, almost on his lap, like a little girl afraid of the boogeyman.

"You shouldn't hold so much hatred inside you. It's a dead end." I said, trying to remove some tension out of him. I didn't know if my words would have any impact or not. He was stubborn enough.

"I guess I can try."

Oh. That one surprised me!

"Thank you." I said, half-smiling against his clothes.

"Why is that?"

"You're … scarier when you have so much hatred inside you." I admitted. "But I understand that-"

"You don't have to fear me. I mean you no harm."

"I-I know, but…"

_Damn words, why do you run from me when I need you the most_?

"But?"

Of course, he was expecting me to say something.

"It's… complicated. You're very reserved, you know that. And sometimes you do scare me with your… coldness."

Well, "scare" wasn't the exact word. To be exact, his coldness did hurt me more than… scare me. But I couldn't say that. I couldn't just admit I had feelings for him, just like that.

"I wish I could… not scare you-"

"It's okay. Nevermind." I cut him.

"It does mind."

Sometimes he was so straightforward, that… it surprised me. How could he say that, when he had told me once it wouldn't be any bonding? He confused me, honestly.

"That's the way you are." I said, with a tone almost desperate. He was difficult, there was nothing new about that.

"I used that specific part of my character for too long." He said, completely unaware of my stressful thoughts. "Contingencies of my profession. And Jenova's influence worsened it." After a short pause, he continued. "I loosed it that night. I have conscience of it. I aspired to… a place and a category in the world that aren't mine to hope."

And there it was, self-blaming all over again. He had put a lot of thought in this matter, I could see that now. I tried to soothe him.

"_She_ convinced you that you were special. It wasn't your fault."

"You don't even imagine the power _she_ showed me." His voice was now… far away, as if he was reliving that moment, again. "I wonder if it is true. I wonder if it… really exists, if… what _she_ showed me would be reachable to a mortal's hand."

For some seconds, all I could hear was our breathings, intertwined with the rain, outside. I felt a huge sensation of impotency, of not being able to help him, of not being able to ease his mind, his problems. All of the sudden, I felt extremely incapable.

"I wish I had answers to offer you."

"I wish… _She_ had never showed me that." He suddenly admitted. "I guess… I prefer _her_ silence."

I had to say something. I couldn't let him just drown himself in sorrow. I moved a little and I searched for his face, for his eyes. This was important enough.

"You know, I believe there is a purpose to everything." I started. "Whatever _she_ did to you, whatever s_he_ showed you, wasn't random. _She_ did… save you, in the end. You're alive, your heart is beating, against all odds. Jenova wasn't such a calamity, after all."

I finally said, with a soft smile. My last words held a lot beneath it, I could only hope he would caught it. He sighed, in response. His eyes were on mine the whole time. He was considering all my words, trying to visualize reality according to the perspective I had showed him.

"How can you do it?" He asked, visibly surprised. "You've been through so many and yet, you always see the brighter perspective of things."

"Life... taught me to look at things like that."

His eyes, his face, held the most beautiful tone I had ever seen in life. In that moment, I didn't hear anything outside; I couldn't see anything but him, his complexion, now so strangely tender. I had the feeling I could be able to conquer to whole world, if he simply stood beside me.

"I believe you."

His words woke me from my reverie. His complexion absorbed me completely and I seemed to lose my composure more than often when he stared at me so intently.

"Maybe you could do that to." I said, trying to remain consistent.

"Maybe I could."

His final words allowed us to break the eye contact. But we had a little help too. A loud, noisy thunder sounded, even the windows moved slightly. The storm surely was exactly above us.

It was inevitable not to tremble.

"Do you think it will stop raining soon?" I asked, hoping he would say something that could cheer me up eventually.

"Not likely."

So much for my failed attempt of brighten up a little.

"Are you afraid of something?"

_Duh, how obvious is that?_ Definitely, he enjoyed squeezing me. He did. Of course he did.

"These storms are… sinister."

I tried to justify myself, but I knew it wouldn't lead me or him anywhere.

"You're not alone."

His sudden declaration, above my head, his hands and arms all around me, made me feel anxious. That sentence could have several meanings and he knew that – so why did he insisted?

"I know…" I answered, my face resting on the fine cotton that covered him.

I wanted so much to tell him he wasn't alone as well and that I would be here, for him… but my shame didn't let me. All I could think was… his words. All I could sense was his smell, his static form against me.

I was too aware of him by now. I was now drowned in anticipation, not knowing what he would do eventually, how this moment could – inevitably – end.

I felt so comfortable next to him, but I didn't want to admit. Not with words, but maybe my body would show that more evidently.

Surrounded by shadow, my eyes accustomed to the dark already, I remained quiet.

_Don't leave me_, my mind begged, as my eyes closed and I desired, with too much eagerness, that he could-

Abruptly, he moved.

His left hand met partially my neck, my jaw and my face, as I sensed his face next to my left ear. My breathing peaked up automatically.

Then, it was his lips – touching, randomly, the skin in that area. It felt like flames, his breath hitting repeatedly my earlobe, my cheek, my hair.

_What is he doing_…, my mind breathed. Even my mental voice was panting.

"Do you?" He managed to say. He was referring to… what? I couldn't think properly. He seemed to grasp I was shamelessly affected by his closeness, so, he rephrased.

"Do you know you're not alone?..." His lips were dangerously close to my own, right now. There, next to mine, so close… but yet, so far. I wasn't able of saying a single word.

His voice sounded again, mangled with the wind blowing outside.

"…Then why do you cry so often, mainly when I'm not at home?"

Oh, God. Why, why did he have to bring that issue up?

"I guess… I'm weak." I said, with tears forming already. It was too much to handle, this sensation of failing completely.

"You're not weak… you're just… afraid."

He was right. Very correct in deed. And I hated to admit that – to him, of all persons.

"There is no need to be afraid. Not of me…"

It had been the way he had said it. A couple of stubborn tears fell, against my will and I regretted, once more, my incapability of control my emotions when we were like this, so close, in this undefined state of affairs, two persons holding each other and teasing each other's senses, skin touching, hands caressing.

I didn't want to be afraid of him. But, sometimes, he was so scary… sometimes, he was just like _her_, Jenova, compelling me to surrender to his will.

I wondered…

_Can you love me_?

_Can you understand me_?

_Can you… stay with me tonight? Because tonight… is too sinister for me to be alone, without you_…

The last thing I remember was the fierce grasp of his hands in my back, holding me to him, my form resting against his, as he laid us dawn in the bed, my will completely destroyed by the powerful strength of his essence, the words he had left unspoken but that were fueled by the devastating affection within his actions.

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><p><strong>The end…<strong>

… **for now.**


End file.
